Betrayed by The Huffington Post? I want my Virtual Lives separated!

It is clear that I intend to keep my blog anonymous. Not that it matters to anybody anyway since in the grander scheme of things, I AM anonymous: one of the masses, does not matter whether my name is known or not. However, in the unlikely case when someone at work or a family member stumbles upon my blog, I really don't want them to know what I really think about things. I mean, some of the things are better left unsaid, un-discussed. If I could have discussed an issue or a subject with anybody at work or in my social circle, I would probably have discussed it with them and got it over with. No need to use this blog as my "therapy sessions". It is the same as when I leave comments on the Huffington Post. There are acquaintances and co-workers who I don't want to become privy to how I see things.

I made the first mistake when I signed up for the Huffington Post through my Facebook login. Lo and behold, my Profile name is now my real name, and when you click on my profile, you are prompted to a screen to connect with me through Facebook. Again, 99.999999% of the world population will not care or bother, since my name or "Jane Doe" does not make any difference to you. Again, however, in the unlikely chance that someone I know comes across the same posts and the same comments, I don't really want to be "found out."

Ok, lesson learned. Luckily the comments I left were pretty neutral and fair. No moral, emotional, outbursts of any kind. No bawdy remarks. No curse words (since they are not allowed in the first place). I left my first profile as is, nothing to be done about it. There does not seem to be an easy way to disenroll myself from THP. I am lazy. Whatever.

I created a second profile. This time I made absolutely sure not to log in through Facebook and used an inconspicuous handle. Things were going along well. No personal information divulged through my profile. Until just now...

Somehow, the system working behind the scenes detected my Facebook login when I was logged into THP at the same time, and automatically connected the dots on its own. Now my profile picture shows a tiny "F" at the corner and when you click on it, the screen shows my name, that I am on Facebook, and would you like to connect with me on Facebook.

Now the tiny F is a BIG GIANT HUGE F to me!!!

This brings back the memory when a tiny window creeped up from the bottom of my computer screen after I finished with my Blockbuster queue, announcing (not even asking!) that my friends on Facebook would be able to see what movies I would be watching. The window then quickly disappeared before I could click on the button "No F*ing way!"

In the age of social media, Web 2.0, etc. etc. it is probably boggles the mind of those who design these nifty, intelligent, systems that someone, like me, may not want to have all of their virtual lives tied up in a nifty bundle, that someone may still prefer to lead an anonymous life while pouring her heart out.

It is ironic. But we live in an ironic era, no?

"That's so Gay" is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor...

Steven Petrow's post on Huffington today really struck a chord:

"That's so Gay" is Not So Funny

I am so happy and relieved that someone brought this subject up, again. Since Huffington is purportedly the most linked blog site in the world, hopefully more parents and teachers would be reading about this.

I have been extremely bothered by the prevalent usage of this word to refer to anything "ridiculous", "hideous", "tacky," "stupid," "OMG I would not be caught dead in this" amongst the young crowd, and by young, I mean 4th graders -- my son personally encountered this verbal bullying at the bus stop and the perpetrator was a fellow 4th grader.

So what's the big deal? We cannot even make jokes now?

Mr. Petrow wrote:

"According to a recent Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) survey, 'anti-LGBT bullying and harassment remain commonplace in America's schools' and that remarks like 'that's so gay' foster a homophobic environment and worse. The GLSEN findings showed that 75 percent of high school students reported hearing remarks such as 'faggot' or 'dyke' frequently, with nine out of 10 often hearing 'that's so gay' or 'you're so gay' (meaning stupid or worthless)."

When my son was "insulted" with this word, yes, I understand, not for his perceived sexual orientation but as a stand-in word for anything negative in general, I immediately wrote a long letter to the teacher asking her that if we don't nip this in the bud now, how far are we going to let it go?

I am glad that I am not alone in sounding the alarm. Of course, this phenomenon is way beyond the school yard, people use this expression at work places all over the country. Words like this are particularly pernicious exactly because of its seeming harmlessness. "Oh, you are a baby if you cry about it and cannot take the joke." So we learn to shut up and keep quiet.

The increasing popularity of the usage of "Gay" as an insult is indicative of the underlying homophobic mentality permeating in our society, despite decades of working towards acceptance by the "mainstream". This is, the way I read it, part of the backlash against the gains made by gays and lesbian. They have co-opted the word "queer" so that now it conveys pride in self-identification in some specific uses. It is then not too far off to see the co-opting of the word "Gay" as revenge by the not-so-enlightened amongst us: they are trying to turn the previously neutral and PC "label" (for lack of a better word) into a slur. "You took an insult word from us so that we can no longer hurt you with it. Guess what? We are going to turn how you have been identifying yourselves with into a insult equivalent of anything undesirable..."

Clever maneuver by the not-so-tolerant.

What does this say about how we really feel about those who are different from the "norm" deep down, behind the door, if we allow the use of this word on the playground and in the school hallways as part of the litany of insults that our kids can hurl at each other?

Where do people find the time to blog? And the Huffington Post's guide to blogging...

I am seriously puzzled.  I have checked out the "competitions" out there: do a google search (or a google blog search, even better), and there are a lot of suburban moms out there, clicking away. Many of them are writers, professional even, were or still are.  Thank god!

 

They all have kids, well, duh, that's the definition for "mothers".  So, where do they find the time to produce such abundant material for their blog? 

 

I have to decide whether I want to go to bed or blabber away in the cyber space.  And even in the cyber space, there are so many "social media" choices for my insomniac mind: Facebook, My Space, Slickdeals, Baby Bargain chat rooms, in addition to all the wonderful professionally written blogs: the Huffington Post, ReadWriteWeb, Micro Persuasion, and, let me not forget the most fun of them all, randomly searching the interweb for funny stuff to read or watch.  (Oh, YouTube, you are the ultimate time sinker!)  Even Twitter, the haiku model of the social media, proves to be a great aide to procrastinators, despite its claim to brevity: read the "Everybody" section like a great "found object poetry", and click on all the TinyUrl links that people shared. FUN!

 

Hack, even reading reviews (and dueling comments) on Amazon.com is entertaining sometimes. 

 

And actually, spending more time on my computer, now that the kids are in bed, requires me to put on the blinder and ignore the 3-day-piled-up laundry, the unwashed dishes, the toys strewn about the floor, oh, and yes, BILLS TO PAY, and Quicken to enter (I am proud to say that I have been diligently keeping records on Quicken since 1993...  that's an astonishing record for someone who has never managed to keep a journal past page 10...) 

 

Really, I could be watching one of the Netflix DVDs that I haven't touched and need to return soon to get our money's worth. Or, I could read the newspaper. Or, heck, I should take a shower!  I could also use some exercise on the machine that is now, as predicted, the clothes hanger. 

 

It amazes me every time I think about this question. 

 

In her latest (and probably the "lightest" and least political) book, The Huffington Post Complete Guide to Blogging, Arianna Huffington proposes that everybody should have a blog, and that one should write something down instantly, no thinking required, no minimum for length for each post. And that's where the fun is, and probably what the point is about blogging. 

 

I have taken a liking (more an affinity, actually) to Arianna Huffington ever since her appearance on the Jon Steward Show this past December (promoting the book, of course).  Jon true to himself wasn't persuaded by Arianna's ensued plea, "hey, you should have a blog!"  What got me was what she said, as a side comment, about why she personally likes blogging, "This way my accent won't be an issue: people cannot hear my accent..."  It was mind-blowing to me that with her wealth and power and position, she still minds her own accent.  Perhaps I read too much into this. But I now think of her often and wish her well.