To @Wired: Whoever gave my husband the idea that Sorapot, instead of an IPod

was a good idea for a great Xmas present... is a f** idiot and can come & take it!

My husband's attempt to surprise me at Xmas was a success if he only meant to surprise me... This "teapot" was an overpriced piece of, eh, paperweight. If you have no intention of washing it, then do NOT get it for me!


Yeah. Now can you honestly tell me that it looks just as stylish sitting on my kitchen counter next to my high tech rice cooker, as the air-brushed picture you have shown?

Seriously? And you did at least 2 reviews of this last year? The review in May was not enough for you, and you had to give it another plug again towards year end, AND on the 2008 Wish List?

My husband, who, despite my well-known wish of getting an IPod, decided that Sorapot was just as good, if not better. It has been two months now since I am the owner of the most expensive glass teapot in the whole god damn world. Why am I pissed every time I have to gingerly take this thing apart and wash it and then assemble it together? Well, you be the judge! Sorapot or IPod??!!

Posted via email from submom's posterous

Americans pay $650 billion more for health care than comparable countries...

It is technically $643 billion, the additional amount Americans paid for health care in 2006 compared to the other countries with comparable wealth and health, according to the research article "Why Americans Pay More for Health Care?" in the December 2008 issue of the venerable McKinsey Quarterly. (Ok, probably not as venerable as The Harvard Business Review, but still a good thing to be inserted into your conversation with your interviewers...)

Please don't freak out: this article is actually quite easy to follow and it is written in plain English, so there is no "Huh? WTF are they talking about?" or "Do they know what they themselves are saying?" moment. I promise. In addition, there are a lot of charts. We love charts! And these charts actually say something and make sense. Bonus.

Some quick takeaways:

Countries spend more on health care as they become wealthier.

The main source of this gap of $650 billion? Outpatient care. "Outpatient care is by far the largest and fastest-growing part of it, accounting for $436 billion, or two-thirds of the $650 billion figure. The cost of drugs and the cost of health care administration and insurance (all nonmedical costs incurred by health care payers) account for an additional $98 billion and $91 billion, respectively, in extra spending."

"Today, the US system delivers 65 percent of all care in outpatient contexts, up from 43 percent in 1980."

Although in theory this shift should have cut the cost down, in reality the overall cost went up because of the high utilization rate of outpatient care. However, it is not because we go to see the doctors a lot more often, rather, the average costs per visit has gone up and the number of expensive tests, such as MRIs and CT scans, are performed more frequently.

The root cause of this? Insurance and low out-of-pocket expense.

There is no check in place to guard the price increase. On the contrary, seeing a doctor may be like buying a high-end purse -- if it is expensive, it must be good. And vice versa.

The article concludes thus, "In the United States, the 'average' consumer of health care pays for only 12 percent of its total cost directly out of pocket (down from 47 percent in 1960), as well as for 25 percent of health care insurance premiums, a share that has stayed relatively constant for the last decade. Well-insured patients who bear little, if any, of the cost of their treatment have no incentive to be value-conscious health care consumers."

This sounds familiar but now we have the numbers to back up our suspicions: in order for any health care reform to work and stick, it is important that we carry out the education and cultivation of a new generation of patients that are "value conscious" and treat the burden of health care, even when they do not have to pay for it DIRECTLY, as ultimately their own INDIRECT cross to bear.

Betrayed by The Huffington Post? I want my Virtual Lives separated!

It is clear that I intend to keep my blog anonymous. Not that it matters to anybody anyway since in the grander scheme of things, I AM anonymous: one of the masses, does not matter whether my name is known or not. However, in the unlikely case when someone at work or a family member stumbles upon my blog, I really don't want them to know what I really think about things. I mean, some of the things are better left unsaid, un-discussed. If I could have discussed an issue or a subject with anybody at work or in my social circle, I would probably have discussed it with them and got it over with. No need to use this blog as my "therapy sessions". It is the same as when I leave comments on the Huffington Post. There are acquaintances and co-workers who I don't want to become privy to how I see things.

I made the first mistake when I signed up for the Huffington Post through my Facebook login. Lo and behold, my Profile name is now my real name, and when you click on my profile, you are prompted to a screen to connect with me through Facebook. Again, 99.999999% of the world population will not care or bother, since my name or "Jane Doe" does not make any difference to you. Again, however, in the unlikely chance that someone I know comes across the same posts and the same comments, I don't really want to be "found out."

Ok, lesson learned. Luckily the comments I left were pretty neutral and fair. No moral, emotional, outbursts of any kind. No bawdy remarks. No curse words (since they are not allowed in the first place). I left my first profile as is, nothing to be done about it. There does not seem to be an easy way to disenroll myself from THP. I am lazy. Whatever.

I created a second profile. This time I made absolutely sure not to log in through Facebook and used an inconspicuous handle. Things were going along well. No personal information divulged through my profile. Until just now...

Somehow, the system working behind the scenes detected my Facebook login when I was logged into THP at the same time, and automatically connected the dots on its own. Now my profile picture shows a tiny "F" at the corner and when you click on it, the screen shows my name, that I am on Facebook, and would you like to connect with me on Facebook.

Now the tiny F is a BIG GIANT HUGE F to me!!!

This brings back the memory when a tiny window creeped up from the bottom of my computer screen after I finished with my Blockbuster queue, announcing (not even asking!) that my friends on Facebook would be able to see what movies I would be watching. The window then quickly disappeared before I could click on the button "No F*ing way!"

In the age of social media, Web 2.0, etc. etc. it is probably boggles the mind of those who design these nifty, intelligent, systems that someone, like me, may not want to have all of their virtual lives tied up in a nifty bundle, that someone may still prefer to lead an anonymous life while pouring her heart out.

It is ironic. But we live in an ironic era, no?

"That's so Gay" is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor...

Steven Petrow's post on Huffington today really struck a chord:

"That's so Gay" is Not So Funny

I am so happy and relieved that someone brought this subject up, again. Since Huffington is purportedly the most linked blog site in the world, hopefully more parents and teachers would be reading about this.

I have been extremely bothered by the prevalent usage of this word to refer to anything "ridiculous", "hideous", "tacky," "stupid," "OMG I would not be caught dead in this" amongst the young crowd, and by young, I mean 4th graders -- my son personally encountered this verbal bullying at the bus stop and the perpetrator was a fellow 4th grader.

So what's the big deal? We cannot even make jokes now?

Mr. Petrow wrote:

"According to a recent Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) survey, 'anti-LGBT bullying and harassment remain commonplace in America's schools' and that remarks like 'that's so gay' foster a homophobic environment and worse. The GLSEN findings showed that 75 percent of high school students reported hearing remarks such as 'faggot' or 'dyke' frequently, with nine out of 10 often hearing 'that's so gay' or 'you're so gay' (meaning stupid or worthless)."

When my son was "insulted" with this word, yes, I understand, not for his perceived sexual orientation but as a stand-in word for anything negative in general, I immediately wrote a long letter to the teacher asking her that if we don't nip this in the bud now, how far are we going to let it go?

I am glad that I am not alone in sounding the alarm. Of course, this phenomenon is way beyond the school yard, people use this expression at work places all over the country. Words like this are particularly pernicious exactly because of its seeming harmlessness. "Oh, you are a baby if you cry about it and cannot take the joke." So we learn to shut up and keep quiet.

The increasing popularity of the usage of "Gay" as an insult is indicative of the underlying homophobic mentality permeating in our society, despite decades of working towards acceptance by the "mainstream". This is, the way I read it, part of the backlash against the gains made by gays and lesbian. They have co-opted the word "queer" so that now it conveys pride in self-identification in some specific uses. It is then not too far off to see the co-opting of the word "Gay" as revenge by the not-so-enlightened amongst us: they are trying to turn the previously neutral and PC "label" (for lack of a better word) into a slur. "You took an insult word from us so that we can no longer hurt you with it. Guess what? We are going to turn how you have been identifying yourselves with into a insult equivalent of anything undesirable..."

Clever maneuver by the not-so-tolerant.

What does this say about how we really feel about those who are different from the "norm" deep down, behind the door, if we allow the use of this word on the playground and in the school hallways as part of the litany of insults that our kids can hurl at each other?

When co-workers and relatives joined Facebook, I stopped telling the truth...

I believe there should be a boundary somewhere. I was hoping to use FB to dish with my friends in the Cyber space: sort of a virtual hang-out place where you can talk about things that bothers or interests you on a daily basis, mundane and trivial, yes, but things that shape your experiences in life and make up who you are nevertheless.

Is there a polite way to say Thanks, but no thanks, to a Friend request? Other than pretending that you did not see the email glowing in your inbox waiting for you to respond? "You Have a Friend Request". For the meagre number of friends I have on my FB account, I guess I should be grateful that I have such requests waiting. But I am wary.

Gone is my ability to complain about my in-laws since well, they are all part of my Peeps network. Gone is my ability to curse on FB when their mother joined FB. (Yeah, I wonder why the younger generation hadn't started a mass exodus when all us old farts came rushing in?) Gone is my willingness to post anything on FB because I don't really want to leave any substantial evidence (complete with time stamp) when I am supposed to be working but obviously I am not. Gone is my desire to share my Obama-mania on FB in deference to my Republican Friends (though that's probably an oxymoron?) and in-laws. Gone definitely is my urge to update my status "Waiting in line at the grocery store" when I am allegedly "working from home"... (And, let's be honest, does anybody need to know? And once you start asking this question, does anybody need to know anything that is broadcast on FB? Not all of us have something earth-shattering to share on a daily basis. One can, however, try and have a child every year to keep life interesting and FB-worthy I guess...)

So now I am back to square one. Staying anonymous so that I can be all that I can be.

Oh, joy.

(Comic strip from Inky Girl)

I am beginning to empathize with Maleficent who wasn't invited to Sleeping Beauty's christening...

We all know the story of the Sleeping Beauty. The version I remembered has it thus: The Queen and the King gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. At the celebration party, the Queen invited only 12 fairies because she only has 12 place settings. (I didn't make this part up. That's the version I read as a child and remembered...) The 13th fairy got wind of the party that she was not invited to and threw a tantrum, and the rest, as we know, is history... In the Disney version, the "wicked" witch was cleverly given the name Maleficent, a play between Mal (as in "malfunction" and "malice"?) and Magnificent.

I found out just now that there is going to be this big powwow meeting discussing new product ideas at my company, and two of my 3-person team were invited. Guess who is the only female of this whole group and the Engineering team and was NOT invited?

Was the 13th fairy really a WICKED faerie? Maybe she had just reached the boiling point when she was once again dissed by the Palace: apparently she is not as pretty, not as young, and she wears mostly black, unlike the other fairies. So perhaps she said to herself, "Enough is enough. This time I am going to speak up because I am PISSED AS HELL!"

WTF?

One of the Perils of Working while Female: once in a while, when I feel I absolutely need to speak up, I hesitate because I am afraid to sound like a woman scorned...

Today is the day: Inaugration of President Obama, yet, I am not feeling the fever. What's wrong with me?

I am a liberal alright and a staunch Obama supporter. In fact, I am proud of the fact that I "called it" in 2004 before Obama gave that fateful speech at the Democratic Convention that launched him into the national spotlight. (And what's more, he wrote it himself!) I called it even before that: I saw him on TV being interviewed for something, and I told my husband, this guy could run for the president one day and I would vote for him. After the 2004 Dem Convention speech, I was utterly convinced that he has what it takes to be the POTUS and I anxiously waited for someone, someone that mattered to make this official.


I still tell my husband, "I called it before anybody else did!" from time to time, and it annoys him to no end since, of course, it cannot be true that I was the very first one to see this coming...

I was guessing 2012, but it came 4 years earlier to my excitement. At the same time, I was worried that the timing was off, and the country might not be ready for someone so young, and this might ruin his chance forever. (Not ready NOT because he's black but because he is young, relatively "inexperience" - I already predicted that the country would be ready for an African American man to lead them before a woman... but that's for an entire different post later)

During the election, I constantly had panic attacks that we were going to lose again, and be under the GOP thumb for another 4 years. I joked, "kidding on the square", with my husband that we should consider moving to Canada, as we did 4 years ago when Bush won again. On November 4, 2008, I was so happy that my worry was unfounded. He won. WE won!

I admire Obama very much and would like nothing more than the opportunity of speaking to him in person, or even just shaking his hand, like the rest of the nation, judging by the blogs, Facebook updates, Twitter followings, even the news media that lavish praise after praise upon him. He has made so many speeches that brought tears to my eyes. He is able to get in touch with many on a very personal level. I have posted tribute to him myself as well.

I admire Michelle Obama as well, on so many different levels, esp. her being an intelligent person, and a working mother to boot. Like her husband, many have responded to her on a very personal level as well. They are truly an inspiration to the "regular" Americans since as far as I can tell, they have absolutely no ties to any big political names, not the nephew or niece of so-and-so. And for African American women, her being the First Lady has begun to carry so many symbolic meanings, and many of them have been materialized in the new book Go Tell Michelle.

Oh, I have felt the fever alright. During the election.

But I woke up early this morning, at 2:46 am to be exact, feeling a panic attack, because I am not feeling the excitement that the news media has shown us, the screaming fans and all. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. But it feels like, all of a sudden, at a party where everybody is screaming and laughing and drunk with youthful abandon, and well, partying, I am standing in the midst of all this, sober.

I can understand the significance of this event for many people, a significance much much deeper than the face value of a Presidential Inauguration - He IS the first African American to be elected the President of the United States. I cannot begin to imagine the significance of this event on the psyche of African Americans. This is truly a watershed moment that can potentially change the lives of so many, not just in the US, but around the world. The policies he will make, the changes he will carry out (or at least try his darnedest), the wrongs that he will correct (starting with banning waterboarding outright!), the people that he, as the first Black U.S. President, and Michelle, as the first Black First Lady, will inspire, again, not just in this country but all around the world.

But I am not feeling the screaming fan blind adoration bestowed on him as if he were a rock star or a movie star chosen as Sexist Man Alive. Maybe that's my problem. This man has a wife, and two young daughters. And he is going to be OUR President for the next four years. To be honest, I am not cool with screaming female fans treating him like some sort of sex symbol. (Call me a prude... I am never one to fall for a celebrity so maybe that's why I am such a party pooper at this moment). Calling him Obama-daddy trivialized the election of an intelligent capable man who just wants to do the right thing and inspire others to do the same. Selling thongs with his image on it and words "Sleep with Obama" is disrespectful to his wife, not to mention anything else.

Yes, I do have a sense of humor. I found the Obama Girl funny, during the election. But now we have reached our goal and elected the man, hmmm, don't you think it is time to let it go? Last time I checked, this here is the United States, not France....

There lies my problem: I am not seeing him as a celebrity, commanding my unquestioned adoration.

This man is human. He is not Superman.

It is 4:30 am, on the day of the historical Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama who I voted for and wanted for president since before 2004, I am completely sober, much to my liberal chagrin, in the midst of youthful obsession that turns anyone into a Hollywood-style "celebrity".

My cure? Psyching myself up by shopping for the commemorative items on the official PIC2009 website. Get them before they are gone! If I am not feeling the party, at least I can fake it!

My favorite quote: "The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."

"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously." Henry Kissinger

 

I am sure he said it in a context that was different from what I take this saying to mean.  FWIW, for some reason, it's been haunting me.  Sometimes I see it as pessimistic, sometimes I see it as optimistic, Grin and bear it.  This is what existentialism is distilled down to, at least in my book, "Life sucks, but you've got to deal with it."  When Goethe said, "God is dead," I believe that's what he meant: Regardless whether there is God or not, human beings need to take responsibilities for our actions.  Accountability, and the will to see things through.

 

As I tell my kids on a nearly daily basis: You've got to do what you've got to do. 

My pet peeves (Part 1 of a long series I am sure...)

• People who say "How are you?" or "What's up?" and then give you that look when you actually try to answer the question other than "Fine"
• People (ok, men) who do not look at you when they are talking to a group of people and you are the only woman in the room -- scan, scan, skip. Repeat.
• People with bad manners in general
• People who check their BB constantly when you are talking
• People who do that hand motion to signal you to hurry up and finish what you have to say - what are you? The time-keeper at a debate?
• People who say "Fine" instead of "Yes, please." when you ask them whether you could bring them something (to eat)
• People who do not hold the door open behind them until your hand is on the door
• Drivers who do not put on their frigging turn signals - your car has one, use it!
• People with really nice cool powerful cars and then drive slowly like a Florida retiree - You have a nice car. Drive it!
• People who are rude to "foreigners" because they do not speak English (well enough) - hey, you know what? Their English is better than your "insert the language spoken by the said 'foreigner'"

That's it for today. What are yours?