Betrayed by The Huffington Post? I want my Virtual Lives separated!

It is clear that I intend to keep my blog anonymous. Not that it matters to anybody anyway since in the grander scheme of things, I AM anonymous: one of the masses, does not matter whether my name is known or not. However, in the unlikely case when someone at work or a family member stumbles upon my blog, I really don't want them to know what I really think about things. I mean, some of the things are better left unsaid, un-discussed. If I could have discussed an issue or a subject with anybody at work or in my social circle, I would probably have discussed it with them and got it over with. No need to use this blog as my "therapy sessions". It is the same as when I leave comments on the Huffington Post. There are acquaintances and co-workers who I don't want to become privy to how I see things.

I made the first mistake when I signed up for the Huffington Post through my Facebook login. Lo and behold, my Profile name is now my real name, and when you click on my profile, you are prompted to a screen to connect with me through Facebook. Again, 99.999999% of the world population will not care or bother, since my name or "Jane Doe" does not make any difference to you. Again, however, in the unlikely chance that someone I know comes across the same posts and the same comments, I don't really want to be "found out."

Ok, lesson learned. Luckily the comments I left were pretty neutral and fair. No moral, emotional, outbursts of any kind. No bawdy remarks. No curse words (since they are not allowed in the first place). I left my first profile as is, nothing to be done about it. There does not seem to be an easy way to disenroll myself from THP. I am lazy. Whatever.

I created a second profile. This time I made absolutely sure not to log in through Facebook and used an inconspicuous handle. Things were going along well. No personal information divulged through my profile. Until just now...

Somehow, the system working behind the scenes detected my Facebook login when I was logged into THP at the same time, and automatically connected the dots on its own. Now my profile picture shows a tiny "F" at the corner and when you click on it, the screen shows my name, that I am on Facebook, and would you like to connect with me on Facebook.

Now the tiny F is a BIG GIANT HUGE F to me!!!

This brings back the memory when a tiny window creeped up from the bottom of my computer screen after I finished with my Blockbuster queue, announcing (not even asking!) that my friends on Facebook would be able to see what movies I would be watching. The window then quickly disappeared before I could click on the button "No F*ing way!"

In the age of social media, Web 2.0, etc. etc. it is probably boggles the mind of those who design these nifty, intelligent, systems that someone, like me, may not want to have all of their virtual lives tied up in a nifty bundle, that someone may still prefer to lead an anonymous life while pouring her heart out.

It is ironic. But we live in an ironic era, no?

"That's so Gay" is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor...

Steven Petrow's post on Huffington today really struck a chord:

"That's so Gay" is Not So Funny

I am so happy and relieved that someone brought this subject up, again. Since Huffington is purportedly the most linked blog site in the world, hopefully more parents and teachers would be reading about this.

I have been extremely bothered by the prevalent usage of this word to refer to anything "ridiculous", "hideous", "tacky," "stupid," "OMG I would not be caught dead in this" amongst the young crowd, and by young, I mean 4th graders -- my son personally encountered this verbal bullying at the bus stop and the perpetrator was a fellow 4th grader.

So what's the big deal? We cannot even make jokes now?

Mr. Petrow wrote:

"According to a recent Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) survey, 'anti-LGBT bullying and harassment remain commonplace in America's schools' and that remarks like 'that's so gay' foster a homophobic environment and worse. The GLSEN findings showed that 75 percent of high school students reported hearing remarks such as 'faggot' or 'dyke' frequently, with nine out of 10 often hearing 'that's so gay' or 'you're so gay' (meaning stupid or worthless)."

When my son was "insulted" with this word, yes, I understand, not for his perceived sexual orientation but as a stand-in word for anything negative in general, I immediately wrote a long letter to the teacher asking her that if we don't nip this in the bud now, how far are we going to let it go?

I am glad that I am not alone in sounding the alarm. Of course, this phenomenon is way beyond the school yard, people use this expression at work places all over the country. Words like this are particularly pernicious exactly because of its seeming harmlessness. "Oh, you are a baby if you cry about it and cannot take the joke." So we learn to shut up and keep quiet.

The increasing popularity of the usage of "Gay" as an insult is indicative of the underlying homophobic mentality permeating in our society, despite decades of working towards acceptance by the "mainstream". This is, the way I read it, part of the backlash against the gains made by gays and lesbian. They have co-opted the word "queer" so that now it conveys pride in self-identification in some specific uses. It is then not too far off to see the co-opting of the word "Gay" as revenge by the not-so-enlightened amongst us: they are trying to turn the previously neutral and PC "label" (for lack of a better word) into a slur. "You took an insult word from us so that we can no longer hurt you with it. Guess what? We are going to turn how you have been identifying yourselves with into a insult equivalent of anything undesirable..."

Clever maneuver by the not-so-tolerant.

What does this say about how we really feel about those who are different from the "norm" deep down, behind the door, if we allow the use of this word on the playground and in the school hallways as part of the litany of insults that our kids can hurl at each other?

When co-workers and relatives joined Facebook, I stopped telling the truth...

I believe there should be a boundary somewhere. I was hoping to use FB to dish with my friends in the Cyber space: sort of a virtual hang-out place where you can talk about things that bothers or interests you on a daily basis, mundane and trivial, yes, but things that shape your experiences in life and make up who you are nevertheless.

Is there a polite way to say Thanks, but no thanks, to a Friend request? Other than pretending that you did not see the email glowing in your inbox waiting for you to respond? "You Have a Friend Request". For the meagre number of friends I have on my FB account, I guess I should be grateful that I have such requests waiting. But I am wary.

Gone is my ability to complain about my in-laws since well, they are all part of my Peeps network. Gone is my ability to curse on FB when their mother joined FB. (Yeah, I wonder why the younger generation hadn't started a mass exodus when all us old farts came rushing in?) Gone is my willingness to post anything on FB because I don't really want to leave any substantial evidence (complete with time stamp) when I am supposed to be working but obviously I am not. Gone is my desire to share my Obama-mania on FB in deference to my Republican Friends (though that's probably an oxymoron?) and in-laws. Gone definitely is my urge to update my status "Waiting in line at the grocery store" when I am allegedly "working from home"... (And, let's be honest, does anybody need to know? And once you start asking this question, does anybody need to know anything that is broadcast on FB? Not all of us have something earth-shattering to share on a daily basis. One can, however, try and have a child every year to keep life interesting and FB-worthy I guess...)

So now I am back to square one. Staying anonymous so that I can be all that I can be.

Oh, joy.

(Comic strip from Inky Girl)

"It's an Obamanation!" musings on commercialism hitching a ride to the Obama Fever by Salon.com writer

Sarah Hepola, thank you! Her humourous, yet sobering, look into the world of Obama-fever merchandising begins thus,

"The other day, curious how far the Obama madness had spread, I Googled the words 'Obama sex toy.' God bless America: I was not disappointed..."

Go straight to the slide show of some of the choice merchandise being sold if you want some visual evidence on why so glum, or if you just want some good old laugh over "Oh, only in America!" while shaking your head...

As for me, I cannot decide whether to laugh or cry.

It is 6:05 AM. When does the broadcast of the Inauguration start?

Today is the day: Inaugration of President Obama, yet, I am not feeling the fever. What's wrong with me?

I am a liberal alright and a staunch Obama supporter. In fact, I am proud of the fact that I "called it" in 2004 before Obama gave that fateful speech at the Democratic Convention that launched him into the national spotlight. (And what's more, he wrote it himself!) I called it even before that: I saw him on TV being interviewed for something, and I told my husband, this guy could run for the president one day and I would vote for him. After the 2004 Dem Convention speech, I was utterly convinced that he has what it takes to be the POTUS and I anxiously waited for someone, someone that mattered to make this official.


I still tell my husband, "I called it before anybody else did!" from time to time, and it annoys him to no end since, of course, it cannot be true that I was the very first one to see this coming...

I was guessing 2012, but it came 4 years earlier to my excitement. At the same time, I was worried that the timing was off, and the country might not be ready for someone so young, and this might ruin his chance forever. (Not ready NOT because he's black but because he is young, relatively "inexperience" - I already predicted that the country would be ready for an African American man to lead them before a woman... but that's for an entire different post later)

During the election, I constantly had panic attacks that we were going to lose again, and be under the GOP thumb for another 4 years. I joked, "kidding on the square", with my husband that we should consider moving to Canada, as we did 4 years ago when Bush won again. On November 4, 2008, I was so happy that my worry was unfounded. He won. WE won!

I admire Obama very much and would like nothing more than the opportunity of speaking to him in person, or even just shaking his hand, like the rest of the nation, judging by the blogs, Facebook updates, Twitter followings, even the news media that lavish praise after praise upon him. He has made so many speeches that brought tears to my eyes. He is able to get in touch with many on a very personal level. I have posted tribute to him myself as well.

I admire Michelle Obama as well, on so many different levels, esp. her being an intelligent person, and a working mother to boot. Like her husband, many have responded to her on a very personal level as well. They are truly an inspiration to the "regular" Americans since as far as I can tell, they have absolutely no ties to any big political names, not the nephew or niece of so-and-so. And for African American women, her being the First Lady has begun to carry so many symbolic meanings, and many of them have been materialized in the new book Go Tell Michelle.

Oh, I have felt the fever alright. During the election.

But I woke up early this morning, at 2:46 am to be exact, feeling a panic attack, because I am not feeling the excitement that the news media has shown us, the screaming fans and all. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. But it feels like, all of a sudden, at a party where everybody is screaming and laughing and drunk with youthful abandon, and well, partying, I am standing in the midst of all this, sober.

I can understand the significance of this event for many people, a significance much much deeper than the face value of a Presidential Inauguration - He IS the first African American to be elected the President of the United States. I cannot begin to imagine the significance of this event on the psyche of African Americans. This is truly a watershed moment that can potentially change the lives of so many, not just in the US, but around the world. The policies he will make, the changes he will carry out (or at least try his darnedest), the wrongs that he will correct (starting with banning waterboarding outright!), the people that he, as the first Black U.S. President, and Michelle, as the first Black First Lady, will inspire, again, not just in this country but all around the world.

But I am not feeling the screaming fan blind adoration bestowed on him as if he were a rock star or a movie star chosen as Sexist Man Alive. Maybe that's my problem. This man has a wife, and two young daughters. And he is going to be OUR President for the next four years. To be honest, I am not cool with screaming female fans treating him like some sort of sex symbol. (Call me a prude... I am never one to fall for a celebrity so maybe that's why I am such a party pooper at this moment). Calling him Obama-daddy trivialized the election of an intelligent capable man who just wants to do the right thing and inspire others to do the same. Selling thongs with his image on it and words "Sleep with Obama" is disrespectful to his wife, not to mention anything else.

Yes, I do have a sense of humor. I found the Obama Girl funny, during the election. But now we have reached our goal and elected the man, hmmm, don't you think it is time to let it go? Last time I checked, this here is the United States, not France....

There lies my problem: I am not seeing him as a celebrity, commanding my unquestioned adoration.

This man is human. He is not Superman.

It is 4:30 am, on the day of the historical Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama who I voted for and wanted for president since before 2004, I am completely sober, much to my liberal chagrin, in the midst of youthful obsession that turns anyone into a Hollywood-style "celebrity".

My cure? Psyching myself up by shopping for the commemorative items on the official PIC2009 website. Get them before they are gone! If I am not feeling the party, at least I can fake it!

My pet peeves (Part 1 of a long series I am sure...)

• People who say "How are you?" or "What's up?" and then give you that look when you actually try to answer the question other than "Fine"
• People (ok, men) who do not look at you when they are talking to a group of people and you are the only woman in the room -- scan, scan, skip. Repeat.
• People with bad manners in general
• People who check their BB constantly when you are talking
• People who do that hand motion to signal you to hurry up and finish what you have to say - what are you? The time-keeper at a debate?
• People who say "Fine" instead of "Yes, please." when you ask them whether you could bring them something (to eat)
• People who do not hold the door open behind them until your hand is on the door
• Drivers who do not put on their frigging turn signals - your car has one, use it!
• People with really nice cool powerful cars and then drive slowly like a Florida retiree - You have a nice car. Drive it!
• People who are rude to "foreigners" because they do not speak English (well enough) - hey, you know what? Their English is better than your "insert the language spoken by the said 'foreigner'"

That's it for today. What are yours?